This year has been the best year of my life.
I moved to a new city where I only knew one person. I completely built a community for myself. I began my first post-grad job at a media company in the hair industry, where I get to travel and plan events and use my left brain (analytics) AND my right brain (social creativity). I’ve filled just about every night with friends or church or events and feel like I’m fully embracing this stage of life. I’ve spent far too much money on food & drinks. I joined a church and really started investing in it. Serving, leading, giving, really embracing the church as my own. I’ve never felt more ownership. I traveled to a few different states and a few different countries. I went on dates. I finally let go of control and am trusting God’s plans because I know they’re better than my own. I feel peace. I feel joy. I feel contentment. But this year has also had its own share of troubles. I left home. My sister/person/best friend and I live 20 hours away from each other. I’ve lost closeness with friends from high school & college. I’ve felt scared. I’ve felt inadequate. I’ve gotten angry & bitter. I’ve had to learn how to budget and not rely on the safety net of my parents. I’ve been really stressed out by work. But when I think back on this year it’s harder to come up with the negative than it is to come up with the positive. It all has to do with my perspective. I don’t believe I’m a negative person, but I’m definitely a realist. Finding the positive in everything hasn’t always been the easiest for me. I’ve been challenged a lot by leaders in my life though to look at growth. What I’ve found is this. Growth usually doesn’t look like we want it to. When we’re in it, it looks a lot more like pain, punishment, or disappointment. Growth means letting go of things that are comfortable in order to step out into something that might not yet seem fully developed. Growth looks like asking God for boldness, seeing a situation where someone is being mistreated, and speaking up rather than turning the other way to avoid confrontation. Growth looks like asking God for patience and not being discouraged as you continue to wait and wait on God to bring you what you’ve been praying for (for weeks, months, even years). Growth looks like asking God for gentleness and responding calmly when someone yells. It’s not my natural inclination to respond to things in a growing manner. But this year I’ve learned to. And what i’ve learned is this: when you lean into growth, when you redefine what it means and know, truly know, that God has you and that He is carrying out His plan for you in this, you start to see yourself the way Jesus sees you. You start to see the pieces of the puzzle of your life come together. I’ve been asking God for boldness. He asked me to become a leader at my church. I asked God for my purpose. The reason I’m here. In this place, in this time, and it looks like leading, encouraging, and building up young women. To make sure they know they’re enough, and loved, and valued. I’ve asked God why I’m still in seasons I thought would have long passed by now, some I really can't figure out why (hey, transparency), but I know he must have something far better in store for me than I can even imagine. I’m leaning into this growth and beginning to see what God has for me and it’s so, so good. Because the thing to remember, is, God knows us. Truly knows us. The ins and outs, the ups and downs, the deepest desires and fears. He's got us. Literally nothing is going to happen in life that isn't written in His plan. We get caught up in the height of it all. The concepts not making sense, not fitting with our world. But God isn't confined to what we see in this world. He's working in the unseen, always. He can come into our worlds and work through anything. We don't have to live to the doubts, the anxiety, the fear--He's got us. We don't have to manage it all and keep it all together--He's got us. We don't have to control or manipulate or overthink--He's got us. Growth is uncomfortable. Letting go of control, rational thinking, and really believing in change for yourself can be so hard. But when we realize how deeply we are loved, how we don't even have to worry for a moment, we become so freed to be the people we're being called to be.
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This year has been so full. Full of new places, new faces, a new job, new community and new responsibility. It's also been full of growing pains, disappointments and doubts. It's uncomfortable for these two things to coexist, but I think it means growth.
I don't think we always want to grow when we say we do. We ask for change--to be made better--but are discouraged by the first obstacle we face. I say, "Jesus, give me patience." And yet, I'm frustrated to stay in this season of being single. I say, "Jesus, help me be bold." Yet I see things I could speak out against and choose not to because I don't want to deal with the discomfort of confrontation or an awkward situation. I say, "Jesus give me kindness & gentleness." But I yell at my mom on the phone or toss glares at people not getting out of my way on my commute. In order to truly grow, in order to become who God is calling me to be, I need to sink into this discomfort. I have to wait patiently for the right man to date. I have to speak out when I see wrong. I have to be gentle with my mom and kind to the strangers on the bus. Growth is often going to feel uncomfortable. It's not always pretty. It hurts to learn through experiences--but when growth is what we're asking for, we need to lean into it. And when we lean into this we begin to see some of the small pieces of who Jesus is making us to be. On Noticing A Social Cliché, Not Wanting To Be Part Of It, But Definitely Being Part Of It11/27/2017 I've spent a lot of hours over the past 8 years encouraging, challenging, and chatting with my girlfriends about boys. I've read a lot of blog posts, I've taken countless buzzfeed quizzes, and most recently I started looking introspectively at my own romantic life to come to a conclusion.
Be prepared, it's going to shock you. Girls, in theory, want the boy who will drop anything to show up at their door with takeout and chocolate. They want the boy who will leave them little notes in unexpected places, who will Instagram photos of them with comments like, "I am so incredibly in love with her." BUT. When it comes right down to reality, and who girls actually find attractive, its always always the bad boys. They're hot, and maybe they can be changed. They're turned on by thrill of a boy who might not actually text them back. He's cool and he's unpredictable. But then they turn out to be an asshole and the girls are back to wanting a nice guy. This cycle repeats itself. I know that wasn't shocking, we all know it. I always wondered why. Logically it makes sense to date a nice guy, so date the nice guy. The catch for me is this: I literally just now realized I am even more part of this horrible dating cliché than I ever could have thought. I thought back on my relationships, all the guys I've dated and had things with and just texting flirtations and I am part of this pattern. When a nice boy is interested in me I feel like I wouldn't be attracted to him as more than a friend. But I know he's the type of guy who will leave the little notes in unexpected places, drop anything to come see me, and go out of his way to treat me like a princess. How does that become unattractive to me? How does that make me think I wouldn't want to plant one on him? In the same regard, I actively chase doucebags. I slide into their DMs, I anxiously wait to see if I'll get a text back. I bend over backwards to make sure I'm available to hangout, go on a date, or head over to their place if they so ask because somehow I will do anything they ask. But then they stop texting back and I have a broken heart and I sit there and think, "a nice guy wouldn't have done that." WHY? I don't have the answers. I literally am wondering why. Because it's a pattern in my life and I'd like to break it, or heaven knows I'm going to end up a bitter single old lady who hates boys, even though I'm just as much the problem. If you would have asked me five years ago as I entered college what my life would look like when I graduated, I never would have described the life I currently live.
I thought I was going to be one of the blonde, Dutch girls that met a boy at school, went on late night coffee dates at Johnny's, had library study dates, and was wearing the shiny diamond ring by spring. I think I really wanted to be part of the (West Michigan) cliché. I thought I was going to be part of a "we." I thought we would get a cute little apartment in Grand Rapids and we would have couple-friends, and I would work at the Christian non-profit I had interned for, and I would spend my free time at the lake with my family. It sounded really good and really comfortable. But today… I live in Chicago. I'm single. I work for a magazine in the hair industry. I am part of the most alive and Jesus-filled church I've ever been to. I freaking love this city and the neighborhoods I've discovered, the people who have become important parts of my life, the keep-yourself-busy-every-night-of-the-week mentality, and the abundance of brunch spots. I've gone on handfuls of dates since moving to Chicago. Some weird, some okay, and some actually good but none of them giving me those butterflies I know I deserve. So I guess we'll keep looking. My job in the hair industry is a far cry from the Christian non-profit I used to work for, but I absolutely love it. I travel all the time, my coworkers are some of the best people I know here, and I cannot imagine having more fun in a place of work. Plus, I get to wear ripped jeans or shorts or sweatpants, or whatever I want, any day of the week. I thought I would work a mediocre job because first jobs are supposed to be mediocre. But I'm organizing awards shows and implementing new social media software and life. Is. So. Cool. I don't think I ever would have included church in a descriptor about me before this point in my life. I showed up to church on Sunday and I did my devotions. But now I find myself at worship nights, and teaching nights, and talking to God throughout the day everyday and wanting to become a leader. I find myself asking God what His calling is on my life and how I go about doing His work on earth. I constantly ask God how I can do what he needs me to do, and am asking to let go of the comfort I so enjoy for it. I think this is the first time in my life I've ever done this with Jesus. The first time I've grasped that life moves at the speed of relationships, and its important to be invested in the good ones. The first time I've thought I'm comfortable somewhere and that might be a good thing but it might also mean that I'm coming up on a time where Jesus is going to ask me to do some pretty scary (but right) things, and I'm actually going to lean into it rather than run from it. I'll admit it—I don’t like coffee, but the vast array of coffee shops in Grand Rapids is one of my favorite attributes from the city. The cozy, aesthetically pleasing watering holes are scattered from the West Side to Eastown and everywhere in between. The places I’m sharing with you are my go-to places for yummy drinks and treats, and places to sit and catch up with friends or spend an entire day working on homework. There are so many coffee shops in Grand Rapids I couldn’t come up with an exhaustive list, but here are my top three favorites. LYON STREET CAFE Tucked into the middle of the Heritage Hill Neighborhood, Lyon Street Cafe could not be more charming. The white subway tile and brick walls, textured ceiling, and wooden tables create the most enjoyable coffee-drinking atmosphere. Not to mention, the baristas are friendly and very helpful when you need to make a tough decision on which pastry to order (Lyon Street gets their pastries from Nantucket Baking Company and you do NOT want to miss out on them). The aroma of coffee wafts through the small cafe, and there are several beverages, including espressos, cappuccinos, lattes, hot chocolate, loose leaf tea, and pour over coffees. You truly cannot go wrong here. The hot drinks will warm you from the inside out on these cold winter days, and if you choose to visit in the summer you can find plenty of cold drinks too! Lyon Street Cafe is best for sitting and studying the day away, or catching up with a friend. The tables are small, though, so groups of more than 3 will have to spread out. Make sure to add Lyon Street to your list of coffee shops to hit, though. There's not another place like it in GR! FERRIS COFFEE Ferris Coffee has two locations—the original one on Winter Ave. and a second location that recently opened in the Trust Building. The Winter Ave. Ferris Coffee location is part coffee shop and part candy/nut store. Ferris is worth the trip to the West Side solely for the industrial modern feel and unique drinks, but the dark chocolate covered peanuts should not go un-purchased. Like Lyon Street, the staff is friendly and you’ll leave Ferris feeling more hipster vibes than ever. For the summer months the Winter Ave. location has a wonderful patio, and one of the walls is made of garage doors that are opened on warm days. If your life is centered around the major downtown area of Grand Rapids, check out the brand new Trust Building location! It will not disappoint. The hot chocolate at Ferris rivals any other in GR, a hot, creamy drink with more of a dark chocolate flavor. A fall favorite at Ferris is also steamed cider, which pairs perfectly with a fresh donut, scone, or muffin from Rise Grand Rapids (an all gluten free bakery). Both Ferris locations sell Rise products daily. THAT EARLY BIRD CAFÉ
Located in the heart of Eastown on Lake Drive, That Early Bird Café is both the coffee shop where you want to sit and catch up with old friends and the coffee shop where you want to spend a day working on homework. While parking can be a little difficult—patrons find themselves parking on side streets with a little walk back to the coffee shop—the interior boasts two large sections. One features long tables and booths (with plenty of outlets for computer chargers), the other two person tables and a counter lining three walls of windows. The tables easily lend themselves to either conversation or work, and the counter seats provide a quiet spot to sit and get things done. That Early Bird brews Rowster coffee—a fellow local product—and boasts several specialty drinks including lattes, mochas, espressos, and macchiatos. The first thing you notice about the food at That Early Bird is that it is perfection. Whether it’s the half-chocolate-dipped peanut butter cookie adorned with fresh peanuts just-so, or the colorful Avocado Hash, the food is prepared with an art to it. It is evident everything in the kitchen is prepared with love and the knowledge that every customer deserves a beautiful and tasty treat. And it’s good. That Early Bird surpasses many Grand Rapids coffee shops with its quality and selection of food. With fresh baked pastries—including gluten free and vegan options—as well as unique “real food” options, it is tough to beat. PIT STOP BBQ Pit Stop BBQ is perhaps the most hidden spot in Grand Rapids. It’s located in a strip mall on 28th Street in Cascade, but it’s worth the trek and you’re hard pressed to find a better BBQ joint in Grand Rapids. Only open Thursday’s and Friday’s from 11:00am to 6:30pm—the company’s main business is catering—you’ll never find Pit Stop without a line. But don’t worry, it moves fast. The charming character of the owner, the gong you have to ring on your first visit, and the insanely large portions for low prices are just some of the highlights. Pit Stop has a true family feel, and they’ll let you make just about any adjustments to your order, because they believe it’s all about the customer. My personal recommendation here is the pulled pork platter with green beans (dripping with garlic glaze and almonds) and the tangy slaw. They also have the best cornbread muffins I’ve ever had. However, you can’t go wrong with what you order. It’s all ravishing. It’s best to visit during nice weather or when you’re planning on taking the food to-go, because the only seating is picnic tables outside. Pit Stop is a favorite among nearby businessmen and women and the Cascade community. Follow their Facebook page for announcements of daily specials! You don’t want to miss out on this place. HORSESHOE SMOKEHOUSE Horseshoe Smokehouse definitely wins the award for the best BBQ eating environment in Grand Rapids. Just a block away from Founders in the heart of downtown, the checkered tablecloths and antique appliances will make you feel like you’re transported to a good old-fashioned BBQ joint in the South. The aroma when you walk in is mouth-watering, and every meat option is worth ordering. The meat comes plain with your choice of homemade sauces—don’t worry, you can try them all—and there are several different options for customizing your meal. A must have at Horseshoes are the waffle fries. The portions are large, so you can share with a friend or a date, and they even have 16 beers on tap so you can find the perfect flavor to complement your meal. Horseshoe is busy during weekends and lunch rushes, but is a great quiet spot to grab dinner on a weeknight! Go on down to Horseshoe Smokehouse, your taste buds will thank you for it. SLOWS BBQ Slows BBQ differs from the others I’ve mentioned so far because it is part of a chain rather than a single store. Slows originates from the Detroit area, but has been a huge hit since it opened its Grand Rapids location in the Downtown Market in August 2015. Like all restaurants that serve good BBQ, you’ll probably have to wait a few minutes for your food, but it’s worth it. Customers order the meat by the pound straight from the carver (or you can get it on a bun), and from there you can test out all the sauces on your meat. Seating options are long, communal tables, or smaller tables to create either a familial vibe or something more private. Like Horseshoe, they have several beers on tap at the bar, as well as a few ciders. They’re open for long hours, so whether you want lunch, dinner, or a later evening snack, Slows has got your back! So you’re a poor college student. You can’t afford weekly concerts or fancy dinners or nights out at the bars and clubs downtown. You’re not out of luck in Grand Rapids. This city is home to several cheap and even some free forms of entertainment, keeping your budget in check and your social life flourishing. From sporting events to nature and art, I’ve got you covered. SPORTS-GRIFFINS & GRAND RAPIDS DRIVE With the Grand Rapids Griffins opening their season in early October and the Grand Rapids Drive (NBA Pistons Affiliate) kicking off their season in just 3 days on November 11, these two Grand Rapids based sports team are a great place to spend an evening! Both teams play on a variety of nights but offer great ticket prices. For hockey fans (or people in need of a fun evening activity), Griffins’ tickets lowest price is $16 for a single game. BUT if you attend a Wednesday game and the home team wins, you get a free ticket to come back the following Wednesday! The Griffins also offer $2 beer and $2 hot dogs for every Friday game, a great deal for all wanting an inexpensive night out! Similarly, the Grand Rapids Drive is a great option for a well-priced night, this time at a basketball game. Tickets for General Admission are as low as $5 for most games, with Wednesday games lowered to $2. In fact, Wednesday’s this season are $2 Wednesdays for the basketball team, with $2 tickets, $2 beer, and $2 large popcorn. Looks like you’re going to need that mid-week homework break. The Griffins play at Van Andel Arena and the Drive play at the Deltaplex Arena. Check their websites or Facebook pages for season schedules. HIKING TRAILS There are too many hiking trails in the West Michigan area to list them all, but whether you catch them in the glory of the bright colored leaves or snow-covered bliss, hiking is one of Michigan’s best free activities. Though elevation isn’t a huge challenge in the Mitten, there are many stunning sights. Lose yourself in the woods at the Cascade Peace Park Trail in Ada or soak in the beauty of Lake Michigan at Rosy Mound State Park or Saugatuck Dunes State Park. They’re free, easy to access, and they’ll get you out of the house on the beautiful cool days! FREDERIK MEIJER GARDENS AND SCULPTURE PARK
Calling all nature and art enthusiasts: check out Frederik Meijer Gardens and Sculpture Park on the East Beltline. From the Sculpture Park’s 30 acres of works of art connected by paths, water, and meadows, to the Japanese garden offering peace and beauty, to the many seasonal exhibits (i.e. Butterfly Exhibit and Holiday Exhibition, and Summer Concert Series), The Frederik Meijer Gardens are worth the visit. With student tickets priced at only $11 (with student ID), this inexpensive and beautiful Grand Rapids attraction makes for a great place to spend a day on your own, or a spectacular date or outing with friends. Halloween has come and gone, and now that you’re officially sick of candy, it’s time to see what other sweet things there are in Grand Rapids to satisfy your sweet tooth. Here are some of my top picks of shops that sell solely desserts and sweets in Grand Rapids. I must, however, lead with one disclaimer, and say that since these are all local specialty shops, they’re all a little pricier than your average cookie from the grocery store bakery. LE BON MACARON Paris meets Grand Rapids in this quaint shop on Cherry Street. Le Bon Macaron prides itself on the elegance of Paris and creating luxury macarons for all occasions. Le Bon Macaron sells to customers to sit and eat in the café area of the shop, or allows them to be taken to go in spectacularly wrapped gift boxes. The airy pastries come in a huge variety of flavors, ever changing with the seasons and what flavors the bakers want to experiment with. Some of the most classic flavors are chocolate, vanilla, salted caramel, rose lychee, jasmine, and lemon raspberry. Their current seasonal collection is in for the holidays, featuring pumpkin, chocolate cinnamon, champagne, and candy cane, among others. The treats, offered at $2 per macaron, are crunchy on the outside, soft on the inside, and filled with buttercream filling. They’re delectable, and melt in your mouth. You’ll definitely leave wanting more (and a trip to the home of the macaron in Paris). MOKAYA Three words: A chocolate boutique. Yes, you read that right. Although, upon entry into Mokaya it might be unclear whether the associates sell chocolate or art. One look at their store, Instagram feed or website, and you’ll see creations from dark chocolate bars with intricate coat-of-arms-type designs to colored hedgehog and turtle shaped chocolates and truffles. They don’t stop there, though. They create confections, pastries, drinks, ice creams, and frozen treats. That isn’t the extent of Mokaya’s cool factor. Mokaya sources all their chocolate from Latin American countries for fair trade prices and they try to get the rest of their products locally. Every product is made in the Grand Rapids shop and each one is created by hand. These delicious treats are well worth a trip to Wealthy Street! CAKABAKERY
Another fantastic treat spot on Wealthy is the Cakabakery. Tucked in Eastown and owned by Jason Kakabaker, the Cakabakery creates unique treats for all occasions. Whether you need wedding desserts, a birthday cake or a special holiday gift, they create it all. You can order ahead or go to the shop on Wealthy to buy some of the tastiest treats in Grand Rapids. I recommend going in and getting one of their chocolate chip cookies—they could win awards. The Cakabakery also uses locally sourced ingredients, and caters well to food allergies and preferences. Gluten Free and Vegan options are both on the menu and available to be ordered. As I write about things like boutiques and beer, I find it important that the cultural wonders of Grand Rapids not get lost. Grand Rapids is truly a city that offers everything from tremendous art to actual replicas of an oval office and cabinet room. Here are my top picks for Grand Rapids Museums: THE GRAND RAPIDS ART MUSEUM (GRAM) The Grand Rapids Art Museum, known as the GRAM to most Grand Rapids natives, houses art of all types, desiring to create a culture of creativity and thoughtful dialogue within the West Michigan area. The GRAM is a huge cultural spot in Grand Rapids, featuring many famous exhibitions. On October 23, 2016 the GRAM will welcome the Iris van Herpen: Transforming Fashion exhibit, which will run until January 15, 2017. This exhibition will focus on the artful construction of the Dutch designer’s clothing and shoe designs. According to Experience GR, pieces for this exclusive collection include designs made specifically for Lady Gaga, Bjork, and Taylor Swift. Whether it’s an exclusive exhibition or the general art at the museum, it is a “Can’t Miss” spot in Grand Rapids. The clean lines and white interior will have you reminiscent of larger art museums around the world, and you’ll leave feeling enriched. While admission is usually charged, every Tuesday from 10:00am to 5:00pm and Thursday nights from 5:00pm to 9:00pm are free. GRAND RAPIDS PUBLIC MUSEUM The Grand Rapids Public Museum is a champion of curiosity and exploration. From a replica of Grand Rapids streets in the 1890’s to an exhibit detailing the stories, work, religions and cultural traditions of the 45+ ethnic groups that call Grand Rapids home, the Grand Rapids Public Museum doesn’t fail to impress. The three floors of exhibits are interesting to both children and adults—this is not a place you’ll leave feeling like you didn’t learn anything. Whether it’s the Highlights of Furniture City or the Grand Fish of the Grand River, you’ll leave this place wowed (and if all else fails it has a carousel looking over the Grand River). GERALD R. FORD PRESIDENTIAL MUSEUM
Gerald R. Ford, the 38th president of the United States, served as president from 1974 to 1977. Grand Rapids served as hometown for President Ford and we have a museum dedicated in his honor. This place is heaven-on-earth for history buffs. Highlights include exact replicas of Ford’s Cabinet Room and Oval Office (down to the vases and pipe stands), as well as several interactive areas showing short videos of Ford’s life and presidency. There are also several exhibits chronicling the younger life of “Jerry Ford” and his work in the Navy and Congress. The museum just re-opened after adding several more exhibits including Ford’s return home to Grand Rapids for his burial after his death. While those who don’t have an interest in history may not find this museum as fascinating as the rest, I still think it’s a great place to see at least once. Trying to look for the right beer in Beer City USA can be overwhelming. A quick Google search will tell you there are over 40 breweries in the Grand Rapids Area. How do you choose the right one? Do you go for the large breweries that distribute all around the country or the smaller ones? Do they sell seasonal beers or just their normal craft brands? I’m here to help you with that because no one wants to be stressed out when it comes to decisions about something as fun as beer. Here are my top picks for everyday beer, seasonal beer, and best beer atmosphere. BEST EVERYDAY BEER: Founders Brewing Co. Founders is the largest beer distributor in Grand Rapids and is also known worldwide for its beer (Fun Fact: I once came across a little pub in England with Founders beer on tap). It’s a great place to go with friends—they have long tables on the patio as well as tables inside easy to group together. It can be cost friendly if you go on Mondays for Cheap Pint Night with class 1 beers priced at $3.00 and class 2 at $4.50. Founders is also an especially entertaining place to drink: Tuesdays are Open Mic Nights, and Thursdays and Saturdays boast live music. You can’t go wrong with a beer from Founders. For those who aren’t quite sold on beer yet, try the Rubaeus, which is a non-hoppy raspberry ale. The Centennial and All Day IPA are two other common favorites, and if you’re a daring dark beer drinker, try the Dirty Bastard. All tastes will be satisfied here, and they also have some great food and snacks to go along with your drinks. Bonus: Hit it up when the weather is nice and hang out for hours on the patio. It’s the most hoppin’ place in Grand Rapids. BEST SEASONAL BEER: Grand Rapids Brewing Company Grand Rapids Brewing Company has a smaller feel than Founders, but once again is a great place to go with friends as they also have long tables. Never fear; however, if you want to take a date they have small tables as well. Grand Rapids Brewing Company is incredibly adaptable by the seasons and even come up with new flavors of beer for each one, as well as beers created specifically for big events (i.e. ArtPrize). My personal favorite fall beer this year at Grand Rapids Brewing is the “Fall Off The Hayride.” Its apple and cinnamon and truly tastes a little bit like an apple pie in beer form. Other fall flavors include “Chai Hate Pumpkin Beers,” “Maized and Confused,” “Oktoberfest,” and “Omena Harvest Ale.” Take your friends or take your date to Grand Rapids Brewing for these awesome fall tastes. BEST BEER ATMOSPHERE: Brewery Vivant Have you ever thought about drinking beer in an old funeral chapel? Well now you have. Brewery Vivant easily gets the title of the most interesting beer-drinking atmosphere. It is adorned with several gorgeous stained glass windows, and old Belgian inspired light fixtures and wooden beams complete the atmosphere. Brewery Vivant is inspired by small pubs found in the countrysides in France and Belgium, so there’s definitely a more intimate aspect here than at Founders or Grand Rapids Brewing Company. Also, the beer is really, really good. Cheers! |